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You know those scenes in action movies where the main character throws a match into a puddle of gasoline and causes an amazingly huge explosion? And you're like, "Yeah, OK, that's cool, but I saw that episode of Myth Busters and I know that wouldn't work in real life. Also, even though this features beautiful watercolor renditions of the most eye-rolling porn positions, this is still super NSFW unless you work in porn. In real life, at best, this ends with everyone's forearms feeling like they're about to fall off, and at worst, with the dude's back breaking like a twig. This pretty much goes for standing 69s also. Get that shit out of here, homie. Sex shouldn't be work, it should be sex.

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